The Mightiest in the jungle

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A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.

He went out and cornered a small monkey, and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!"

Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon.

The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and rambles away.

The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"

Hardest Thing to Break

What is the hardest thing to break?

People come up with all kinds of ideas, such as this:

Diamonds are hard to find but not hard to break.

What is the hardest thing to break then?

The answer is: H A B I T

If you break the H, you still have A BIT. If you break the A, you still have BIT. If you break the B, you still have IT .

Hey, after you break the T in IT, there is still the 'I'. The person, at the end of the day, is the root of all the problems. Cute?

Now, I know why HABIT is so hard to break. Its destiny is in its name. The word itself.

Appreciate Each Day

BEFORE

Marketing 101

101 Marketing Concepts

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's DIRECT MARKETING.

2. You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him!"
That's ADVERTISING.

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call her and say, "Hi, I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's TELEMARKETING.

4. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You get up and straighten your tie. You walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her. You pick up her bag after she drops it. You offer her a ride and you say, "By the way, I am very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's PUBLIC RELATIONS.

5. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich. Can you marry me?"
That's BRAND RECOGNITION.

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's CUSTOMER FEEDBACK.

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and say, I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.
That's DEMAND AND SUPPLY GAP.

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and before you can say anything, another person comes along and tells her, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's MARKET COMPETITION.


9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and before you can say anything, another person comes along and tells her, "I am very rich. Marry me! And she follows him.
That's LOSING MARKET SHARE.


10. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and before you can say, "I am very rich. Marry me!", YOUR WIFE TURNS UP!
That's BARRIER TO NEW MARKET ENTRY.

Man vs Woman

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something To wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Forwarded by bayi.

US RECESSION and REBATE

A Joke on Recession in the US

Here is an interesting comment on the current recession in
USA:

Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008)
with the following: ''The federal government is sending
each of us a $600 rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to
China. If we spend iton gasoline, it goes to the Arabs. If
we buy a computer, it will go to India .


If we purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it
will go to Germany.
If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan and
none of it will help the American economy.