GENTS REMEMBER, LADIES FIRST!!!

To all those men who never open the door for your lady! To all those men who walk in front of your lady, instead of beside her! To all those men who enter a room leaving your lady to follow you! To all those men who take the window seat  in the bus! and in an aeroplane! May this be a lesson to many! golden rule : Ladies First Send to all men and women forwarded by bayi.

SNOOTY RECEPTIONIST

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices 
with several other doctors.   The waiting room was filled with patients.   As he 
approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large
unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.    He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE;   
YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
   
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very
embarrassed man.  

 

He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,   'NO, I'VE COME

TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION,    BUT I DON'T WANT 

THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'
 
The room erupted in applause! 

forwarded by bayi

Man vs Woman

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something To wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Forwarded by bayi.

US RECESSION and REBATE

A Joke on Recession in the US

Here is an interesting comment on the current recession in
USA:

Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008)
with the following: ''The federal government is sending
each of us a $600 rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to
China. If we spend iton gasoline, it goes to the Arabs. If
we buy a computer, it will go to India .


If we purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it
will go to Germany.
If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan and
none of it will help the American economy.

Smart Cat

Smart cat!
Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time."

I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson.



The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.

It`s serious...

A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.

"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.

"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"

Toilet Humor Signs

Forwarded by bayi.

There are toilet signs which are better understood by the public.
This one is vague although humurous.

These signs mean the same as the instruction above.