Who's the boss?

The boss was concerned that his employees weren’t giving him enough respect, so he tried an old fashioned method of persuasion. He brought in a sign that said “I’m the Boss” and taped it to his door.

After lunch, he noticed someone had taped another note under his.

The note read: “Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”

15 Brilliant Uses for Toothpaste

15 Brilliant Uses for Toothpaste

Toothpaste: it whitens, brightens, deodorizes, removes stains, and restores and protects enamel. But toothpaste's cleaning capabilities work wonders on many things besides our teeth. The same ingredients that help polish our pearly whites
can also soothe some common ailments, make household items sparkle, and even get rid of stains and pungent smells. Try out these fifteen tricks with a white, non-gel toothpaste (unless otherwise noted), and watch that cavity-fighting, breath-freshening tube of wonder work its magic.

1. Relieve irritation from bug bites, sores, and blisters: These skin irritations all tend to weep and, in the case of bug bites, often itch. Apply a drop of toothpaste to a bug bite or insect sting to stop the itching and decrease any swelling. When applied to sores or blisters, it dries them up, thus allowing the wound to heal faster. It's best when used overnight.

2. Soothe a stinging burn: For minor burns that donot involve an open wound, toothpaste can deliver temporary cooling relief. Apply it delicately to the affected area immediately after a burn develops; it temporarily relieves the sting and prevents the wound from weeping or opening. 3. Decrease the size of a facial blemish: Want to speed up the healing of a zit? Apply a tiny dot of toothpaste to the affected area at night before bed. Wash it off in the morning. 4. Clean up your fingernails: Our teeth are made of enamel, and toothpaste is good for them, so it stands to reason that toothpaste would also be good for our fingernails. For cleaner, shinier, and stronger nails, simply scrub the underneath and tops of fingernails with a toothbrush and toothpaste. 5. Keep hair in place: Gel toothpastes contain the same water-soluble polymers that many hair gels are made of. If you are looking to style and hold an extreme hair creation, try gel toothpaste as your go-to product if you are out of regular hair gel. (This is also a great trick for making baby barrettes stay in place.) 6. Scrub away stinky smells: Garlic, fish, onion, and other pungent foods can permeate the skin cells on our hands. Scrubbing hands and fingertips briefly with toothpaste removes all traces of smelly odors.

The Glasses

A great story of perhaps unintentional and impacting kindness…

Mother’s father worked as a carpenter. On this particular day, he was building some crates for the clothes his church was sending to some orphanage in China. On his way home, he reached into his shirt pocket to find his glasses, but they were gone. When he mentally replayed his earlier actions, he realized what happened; the glasses had slipped out of his pocket unnoticed and fallen into one of the crates, which he had nailed shut. His brand new glasses were heading for China!

The Great Depression was at it’s height and Grandpa had six children. He had spent $20 for those glasses that very morning. He was upset by the thought of having to buy another pair. “It’s not fair,” he told God as he drove home in frustration. “I’ve been very faithful in giving of my time and money to your work, and now this.”

Several months later, the director of the orphanage was on furlough in the United States. He wanted to visit all the churches that supported him in China, so he came to speak one Sunday at my grandfather’s small church in Chicago. The missionary began by thanking the people for their faithfulness in supporting

The Wallet

The Wallet



As I walked home one freezing day, I stumbled on a wallet someone had lost in the street. I picked it up and looked inside to find some identification so I could call the owner. But the wallet contained only three dollars and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been in there for years.

The envelope was worn and the only thing that was legible on it was the return address. I started to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then I saw the dateline–1924. The letter had been written almost sixty years ago.

It was written in a beautiful feminine handwriting on powder blue stationery with a little flower in the left-hand corner. It was a “Dear John” letter that told the recipient, whose name appeared to be Michael, that the writer could not see him any more because her mother forbade it. Even so, she wrote that she would always love him. It was signed, Hannah.

It was a beautiful letter, but there was no way except for the name Michael, that the owner could be identified. Maybe if I called information, the operator could find a phone listing for the address on the envelope.

“Operator,” I began, “this is an unusual request. I’m trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found. Is there anyway you can tell me if there is a phone number for an address that was on an envelope in the wallet?”

She suggested I speak with her supervisor, who hesitated for a moment then said, “Well, there is a phone listing at that address, but I can’t give you the number.” She said, as a courtesy, she would call that number, explain my story and would ask them if they wanted her to connect me. I waited a few minutes and then she was back on the line. “I have a party who will speak with you.”

Death

This really is the most beautiful explanation of  death I've ever read.  It doesn't matter who your  master may be. ~DEATH~ WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO EXPLAIN IT ..   A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to   Leave the examination room and said,   'Doctor, I am afraid to die.   Tell me what lies on the other side.'   Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know.'   'You don't know?  You're, a Christian man,   and don't know what's on the other side?'   The doctor was holding the handle of the door;   On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining,   And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room   And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.   Turning to the patient, the doctor said,   'Did you notice my dog?   He's never been in this room before.   He didn't know what was inside.   He knew nothing except that his master was here,   And when the door opened,  he sprang in without fear.   I know little of what is on the other side of death,   But I do know one thing...   I know my Master is there and that is enough.'

Forwarded by bayi

Health Advice

D RINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH It is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven  its value.. We publish below a description of use of water for our readers. For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases: Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.

METHOD OF TREATMENT 1.. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water 2.. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute 3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal. 4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours 5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day. 6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.

The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases: 1..      High Blood Pressure (30 days) 2.      Gastric (10 days) 3.      Diabetes (30 days) 4.      Constipation (10 days) 5.      Cancer (180 days) 6.      TB (90 days) 7.      Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd  week onwards – daily..   This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.

It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life.. Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.

This makes sense ... The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals ..not cold water... Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain...

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal.  H owever, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.

Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food... It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

A serious note about heart attacks: ·         Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting, ·         Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. ·         You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. ·         Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. ·         60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.. ·         Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep.. Let's be careful and be aware.. The more we know, the better chance we could survive....

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to everyone they know, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life...

GENTS REMEMBER, LADIES FIRST!!!

To all those men who never open the door for your lady! To all those men who walk in front of your lady, instead of beside her! To all those men who enter a room leaving your lady to follow you! To all those men who take the window seat  in the bus! and in an aeroplane! May this be a lesson to many! golden rule : Ladies First Send to all men and women forwarded by bayi.

A Refresher course

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for

Blood plasma.

********************************* 

No piece of paper can be folded in half

more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait...

*******************************

Donkeys kill more people annually

than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass )

*****************************

You burn more calories sleeping

 

than you do watching television.

*****************************

Oak trees do not produce acorns

until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

****************************

The first product to have a bar code

was Wrigley's gum.

*******************************

The King of Hearts is the only king

WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE 

***************************** 

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987

by eliminating one (1) olive

from each salad served in first-class. 

******************************

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

 

(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)

(That women are going the 'right' direction...?)

*****************************

Apples, not caffeine,

are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 

*****************************

Most dust particles in your house are made from

DEAD SKIN!

*********************************

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

So did the first 'Marlboro Man'.

********************************

Walt Disney was afraid

OF MICE!

*****************************

PEARLS MELT

 

IN VINEGAR!

***************************

The three most valuable brand names on earth:

Marlboro, Coca Cola,and Budweiser,in that order.

***************************

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...

 

but, not downstairs.

*******************************

A duck's quack doesn't echo,

 

and no one knows why.

*******************************

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush 

be kept at least six (6) feet away from

a toilet to avoid airborne particles

resulting from the flush.

 

(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)

***************************************************

And the best for last....

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(I know some people like that, don't YOU?)

 

So.......................

Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on...and go move your toothbrush!!!

Safety Tips when there is an earthquake

Every day, earth is shaken by earthquakes ranging from 2 to 9 intensity. There are drills to prepare the people in case there is an earthquake. Some of these proved to be not safe.


Here are tips when there is an earthquake:

SAFETY TIP - the triangle of life

Triangle of Life: without listening or reading, simply by looking at these photos, you can learn more than in a thousand words about how to protect yourself…
Real Demonstration of the “Triangle of Life”

Left: The triangle of life                            Right: Wrong area

 

If you are inside a vehicle, come out and sit or lie down next to it. If something falls on the vehicle, it will leave an empty space along the

sides. See below

The triangle of life:

　躺臥方式 the way of lying down




NEVER　

Smile

 

 

 

Did you smile a lot today?

or 

Did you forget to smile?

SNOOTY RECEPTIONIST

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices 
with several other doctors.   The waiting room was filled with patients.   As he 
approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large
unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.    He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE;   
YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"
   
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very
embarrassed man.  

 

He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,   'NO, I'VE COME

TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION,    BUT I DON'T WANT 

THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'
 
The room erupted in applause! 

forwarded by bayi

The Mightiest in the jungle

---

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.

He went out and cornered a small monkey, and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!"

Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"

The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon.

The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and rambles away.

The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, "Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"

Hardest Thing to Break

What is the hardest thing to break?

People come up with all kinds of ideas, such as this:

Diamonds are hard to find but not hard to break.

What is the hardest thing to break then?

The answer is: H A B I T

If you break the H, you still have A BIT. If you break the A, you still have BIT. If you break the B, you still have IT .

Hey, after you break the T in IT, there is still the 'I'. The person, at the end of the day, is the root of all the problems. Cute?

Now, I know why HABIT is so hard to break. Its destiny is in its name. The word itself.

Appreciate Each Day

BEFORE

Marketing 101

101 Marketing Concepts

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's DIRECT MARKETING.

2. You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him!"
That's ADVERTISING.

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call her and say, "Hi, I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's TELEMARKETING.

4. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You get up and straighten your tie. You walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her. You pick up her bag after she drops it. You offer her a ride and you say, "By the way, I am very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's PUBLIC RELATIONS.

5. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich. Can you marry me?"
That's BRAND RECOGNITION.

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's CUSTOMER FEEDBACK.

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and say, I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.
That's DEMAND AND SUPPLY GAP.

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and before you can say anything, another person comes along and tells her, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's MARKET COMPETITION.


9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and before you can say anything, another person comes along and tells her, "I am very rich. Marry me! And she follows him.
That's LOSING MARKET SHARE.


10. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You walk up to her and before you can say, "I am very rich. Marry me!", YOUR WIFE TURNS UP!
That's BARRIER TO NEW MARKET ENTRY.

Man vs Woman

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the women leaves them.
7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something To wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Forwarded by bayi.

US RECESSION and REBATE

A Joke on Recession in the US

Here is an interesting comment on the current recession in
USA:

Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008)
with the following: ''The federal government is sending
each of us a $600 rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to
China. If we spend iton gasoline, it goes to the Arabs. If
we buy a computer, it will go to India .


If we purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico,
Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it
will go to Germany.
If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan and
none of it will help the American economy.

Smart Cat

Smart cat!
Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time."

I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson.



The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.

It`s serious...

A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.

"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.

"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"