911 Hello

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

--

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

--

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, fire or emergency?
Caller: Fire, I guess.
Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
Caller: I was wondering: does the Fire Deptartment put snow chains on their trucks?
Dispatcher: Yes sir. Do you have an emergency?
Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well... do you think the Fire Deptartment could come over and help me?
Dispatcher: Help you what?
Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

--

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine-eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine-eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one?
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am; nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

--

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn, I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn!
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No.
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Forwarded by Polo

humor