Women and Mafia

Fwdedbybayi.

Q. Why are women worse than the mafia?

A: The mafia demands money or your life; women want both.
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A 60 year-old couple was celebrating their 40 years of marriage. During the celebration a fairy appeared!

"Because you have been such a loving couple all those years, I would like to give you each one wish."

The wife quickly chimed in,"I want to travel around the world."

The fairy waved her wand and, POOF! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly,
"Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand and...


POOF!... He was 90!
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What does a woman and a tornado have in common?

You can hear them both coming and they both take the house when they leave!
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John and Lorraine had been dating each other for years and were getting bored of each other. They became like a married couple, nagging and sarcasm in all their conversations.

One day John met a girl named Cleary. She was pretty, smart and funny and John longed to break up with Lorraine and date Cleary but he couldn't.

Then one day Lorraine was walking along the side of a river when she fell in and drowned.

When John heard the news he was so happy he sang "I can see Cleary now, Lorraine is gone!"

Mafia,
women
humor