Friday, May 05, 2006

Upgrades

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from GIRLFRIEND 7.0 to WIFE 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected
child processing that took up a lot of space and
valuable resources.

In addition, WIFE 1.0 installed itself into all other
programs and now monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Football 5.0,
HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and
TheNeedForBoogeyNightsAllNightLong 8.2.

I can't seem to keep WIFE 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm
thinking about going back to GIRLFRIEND 7.0, but the
uninstall doesn't work on WIFE 1.0. Please hurry, I
need help!

Thanks,

Troubled User.

(Keep reading) _____________________________________

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

Slow down...this is a very common problem that men
often complain about. Many people upgrade from
GIRLFRIEND 7.0 to WIFE 1.0, thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment program. WIFE 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed to run EVERYTHING! It
is also impossible to delete WIFE 1.0 and to return to
GIRLFRIEND 7.0 without the enormous expense of
installing DivorceHer 8.5. Without this VERY
EXPENSIVE program, it is impossible to uninstall, or
purge the program files of WIFE 1.0 from the system
once installed. You cannot go back to ok in
your WIFE 1.0 manual under "Warnings-Alimony-Child
Support". I recommend that you keep WIFE 1.0 and work
on improving the situation. I further suggest
installing the background application "YesDear 3006.2"
to alleviate software augmentation.

In the long run, the best course of action is to enter
the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will
have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

While WIFE 1.0 is a great program, it tends to require
an extreme amount of high maintenance. Costly, but
beneficial. WIFE 1.0 comes with several support
programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and
DoBills 4.2. However, be v-e-r-y careful how you use
these programs. Improper use will cause the system to
launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the
only way to improve the performance of WIFE 1.0 is to
purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1
and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! NO MATTER HOW TEMPTED, DO NOT, under any
circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3.
This application is not supported by WIFE 1.0 and will
cause irreversible damage to the operating system!



Best of luck,
Tech Support

Forwarded by POLO


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